Shirley Harmon

Shirley Harmon, 79, of Alexander, passed away on Sunday, September 20, 2026, finally escaping doctors' appointments, telemarketers, politicians, and the endless parade of people doing things incorrectly. She was born on May 10, 1947, in Batavia, a daughter of the late John and Helen (Macomber) Dykstra.

Shirley was strong, independent, opinionated, stubborn, and entirely unconcerned with whether people found her intimidating. If you asked for her opinion, you got it and if you didn't, you probably got it anyway. One thing that was never up for debate was Shirley's political opinions. If you ever wondered where she stood, don't worry, she would have told you. In fact, if there is one thing she would hate about this obituary, it would be that she isn't here to edit it herself and add several paragraphs explaining exactly what is wrong with this country.

She was a retired nurse, which meant she spent her professional life taking care of people and the rest of her life telling them exactly what they were doing wrong. She was not religious, did not need anyone telling her what to believe, and had absolutely no interest in pretending otherwise. Everyone who didn't know her thought she was sweet and gentle. Those of us who knew her well knew she was absolutely none of those things, and that was exactly why we loved her so much. But beneath all that toughness was a woman who loved her family, even when expressing that love sounded like criticism.

Shirley enjoyed watching British and Canadian television, antiquing, and reading a good murder mystery. A true "Dukie," she never missed a Duke basketball game unless it was for her own kids. She also spent countless hours watching cooking shows, despite firmly believing a microwave was a perfectly acceptable kitchen appliance for nearly every occasion.

She is survived by her children, J. Michael (Michele) Harmon, Michelle Abdella, her former son-in-law, Gabriel Abdella, who remained close to Shirley, Melissa (Edward) Williams, and Mandy (John Cambell) Harmon; grandchildren, Mackenzie, Ian, Trey, Elijah, Ale, Tye, Kaya, E.J., Jazmine, Keayanne, and Jade; great-grandchild, Monroe; brothers, James (L. Linda) Dykstra, Jack (Karen) Dykstra, and Francis Dykstra; sister, Phyllis (Roger) Beach; her furry companion, Ted; and many nieces, nephews, and cousins.

Arrangements are under the care and direction of Marley Funeral Home, 135 Main St., Attica, NY. In accordance with Shirley's wishes, there will be no funeral service. She wasn't interested in having people say nice things about her after she was gone. Her children asked if they could throw her a party in her honor, and her response was, "That's fine, but I won't be there."

The family believes Shirley would want everyone to remember a few simple rules: speak your mind, don't take nonsense from anyone, always root for the Blue Devils (Dukie for life) and never trust anyone who doesn't like a good murder mystery.

If you would like to do something in her memory, please consider donating to Gateway House, 91 Main St., Attica, NY 14011, where Shirley received compassionate end-of-life care.

And, if you knew Shirley, you already know the other thing she'd probably tell you to do: Don't let MAGA win!